~IS A PLACE WHERE MONEY AND WEIGHT ARE NOT AN ISSUE~
Warning: This blog may contain late night griping, and complaining!
Aaagh. I am so sick of STRESSING about my weight and our money (or lack of). Lately, it feels like the first thing that hits me in the morning are:
1. "I wonder if I am any lighter today then I was yesterday."
2. "I really hope that we can pay our bills this month."
Addressing the first issue is becoming more and more of a sore subject because I am really starting to feel like I DESERVE to see the number on the scales go down. I spend an hour and a half and the gym almost everyday. I am watching what I eat. I am seeing NO results. I know that it takes time and I know muscle weighs more then fat yada yada yada. But seriously.
I exercise and eat and healthy as possible because it's the right LIFESTYLE and it's what you should do regardless of if you're a size 2 or a size 20. But to continue to go to the gym, deprive myself of the food I want to eat, and still be stuck in the same size I've been for over three years is SO demoralizing. My only hope is that my insides are healthier, which is the ultimate goal anyway, and that after time my hard work will pay off.
Addressing issue two almost seems a little moot right now, because the reality of it is, we've just begun our lives of poverty! Dental school living is going to be tight, and not only will we not be MAKING any money, we will be living off of borrowed money. I think what frustrates me about money isn't that we can't afford the expenses that we've budgeted, it's the surprises around the corner that aren't in the budget...like cancer, and broken computers, and home repairs. You throw those in and suddenly the fifty forgotten packages of ramen in your storage closet are looking pretty tasty (hence, leading us right back to issue one!)
So anyway, those are my rants for the evening. I normally don't like to complain, but it feels good every once and a while. And I know that we're not the only ones dealing with these issues. In fact, if you have any tips for how you handle these things, please share! At this point any advice would be helpful. Life is good, it really is, but sometimes the obstacles can really get ya!
4 comments:
Yep, life sucks sometimes. My only piece of advice is to weigh no more than once a week. That way you only have to hate yourself once a week instead of every day. Otherwise, just know that I love you and am proud of everything you do and have done! You're a great woman so don't forget that.
Amen to what Keisha said! Money--we have been where you are and they is no easy fix. I used to dream of a time when the month would end before the money did! You can get there but it takes time and effort. Work together on this. If either of you are trying to carry the worry and load alone, it only leads to heartache and disaster. It's OK to cry once in a while, just as long as you do not let the crying lead you to make the wrong choices. Money is of this world--your mate and children are of eternity. Always keep that in the forefront of your mind. I promise you, the Lord is aware of your struggle. But this life is a test. How do you pass the money test--pay your tithing FIRST; pay your fast offering with joy and even double it if you can; wait and let the Lord pour out the blessings on you. He will; He always does.
Yes! That would be a perfect world wouldn't it! One great thing about being so poor in dental school out here is that EVERYONE you are around is just as poor. So we are all on the same level digging Target clearance racks and mooching all the "free" passes we can find to anything. You guys will have tons of fun out here! As for the weight stuff, hang in there! You had a baby not even a year ago PLUS all the health stuff you've gone through since.
You'll survuve, it sucks but it can be done. And with medical bills sometimes things work out when your poor. Remember our clients, big screen tvs, 1500 dollar rings, I mean if they can live large I have faith in you.
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