Hey Twilight Fans...

Have you seen the new Cullen family yet? Penny for your thoughts?

Random thoughts, at a random time...

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* We got into the whole Netflix craze about a month ago, and so we've been watching movies and TV shows like crazy. This explains why I keep mentioning old movies that were released in 2001! Speaking of which, you need to watch I Am David. A friend recommended this movie to me about a year and a half ago! I wrote down the title (I have to write down where I live half the time, otherwise I'd forget), and months later, put it on my Netflix Queue. It's a great movie, rated PG. I won't tell you anything about it, except, if you have any interest in WWII, the holocaust, or anything like that, you will love it. Plus it's got Jim Caveziel in it...HOTT!



* This is my new favorite book of all time...








Now that I get to stay home, I have been baking, a lot! It's getting to the point that I may need to start making deliveries, because I'm EATING as much as I'm baking. I didn't know where to start, so I pretty much just started at the beginning of the book and I'm now working my way in. My goal is to finish the whole thing in a year. Okay, maybe not, but I sure wouldn't mind it!









* My sister came into town yesterday. It was so fun to see her. I only have one sister, and for some crazy reason, she's decided to live in Ogden (I've got her trumped though, because I'm moving to Philadelpia next!) Anyway, we always have such a blast when we get to see each other. We started by having lunch with my mom at Food for Thought. The instant we get together we have so much fun and probably laugh as much as we talk. I love how close the three of us are and how comfortable we feel together. After lunch, we made a pit stop at Red Hot Roasters, a new coffee shop/cafe in town. They are famous for their Tomato Bisque, which Jackie and I had yet to try. It was SOOOOO good. If you live in
Pocatello, and you even KIND OF like tomato soup, you have to go
try it, it will change your life! :-)

Anyway, later that night the whole family came over for some Chinese food, some conversation, and some Arrested Development. It was so fun. If I could, I would spend everyday with my family. I feel so lucky to belong to such an incredible group of people. My parents are so accessible and helpful people who I love to visit with and share ideas. And my siblings have all become such strong and unique indivuals who have so much going for them. I'm so proud of them all. It makes me sad to think that we're moving away from them, but it also makes me excited about seeing them even more.

*Those are my random thoughts for you at this random time of night. I will have more randomness as well as not so random pics coming your way. (I'll give you a sucker if you can tell me how many times I used random in this post. Okay, I really won't, but I will give you a cookie, you have to come over and get it though. If you're one of my vegan friends, I'll give you a carrot, or maybe some hummus, I could ramble all night...!)

spring changes

Don't these pictures just make you ache to be there? Spring as almost here, I can hardly wait!

So, I lost my job yesterday. It was due to no fault of my own, in fact, everyone that I work with lost their jobs yesterday. It was a shock, a blow, and completely unfortunate. Maybe in time I will elaborate more on the circumstances of the situation, but now is not that time.



Today was the first day in YEARS that I woke up as an unemployed person. The timing couldn't have been better for me since I did not sleep a wink the night before. Jayda was sick, and I don't mean fussy, crying and coughing sick, I mean "I've-never-seen-so-much-vomit-in-my-life-SICK!" It was DISGUSTING, and tragic for Jayda. I felt bad for her, but I was also grateful that I was able to catch up on my sleep the next morning.



I can't begin to explain the complication of feelings that has gone into the loss of my job. So much of my identity was invested in what I did for my young clients. I also looked at work at a way to get a social outlet, a chance to interact with other adults, and I made some close and amazing friends because of it. In one day I lost access to all of that. It's been a little tough, I feel like that last two days have gone on for an eternity. There is a grieving process that happens with any loss, including the loss of a job. I have found myself and my co-workers needing to call, email and visit eachother, just to make sure that we're all okay. I know that I'm going to be okay, but it's a lot to lose, and a lot of change, it's just going to take some time.



On the flip side, I'm really looking forward to the change! I haven't been a stay-at-home mom before and I'm really excited about it! I'm happy that I get a few months to adjust to staying home with my kids so that when we move to Philly, it's not such a shock going from working, to staying at home, as weird as that might sound. I love waking up with my hubby, making breakfast as a family and spending so much time together. That's something that we haven't been able to do for a long time.



The timing of this situation really couldn't have been more perfect. In all honesty, I was really burnt out and desperate for a break. This will give me some much needed time from dealing with the harshness of working in the social service world. Also, Glenn has just been hired to work as a personal trainer at a gym, which means that we really shouldn't be losing a whole lot of money. I'm very grateful for that. It's incredible how things manage to work themselves out. Life is full of ups and downs and lots of change. But it's always exciting to find out what you have to learn and grow from each new chapter and experience. I'm so happy that this is all happening now that we are finally entering spring. The warmth, beauty, and growth of spring is such a boost as a reminder that changes can be so refreshing and detoxifying. It's a beautiful time of year to turn some pages and try something new.



I hope you all have a fantastic day today!

Check out my profile

Slight change in the "about me" category. Slight change in wording, MAMMOTH change for me.

More is Less!

Anyone that really knows me, knows that I LOVE food. It's pretty much the axis of my universe. I eat when I'm happy, sad, lonely, excited, nervous, celebrating, depressed, you name it. And I don't just love to eat, I love everything about food. I like to find new ways to cook it, I love to watch cooking shows, and I collect cookbooks. Nothing makes me happier then fluffing my pillow late at night and "reading" a new cookbook.

Needless to say, I have a weight problem! I wouldn't consider myself obese, but according my my own standards, I could stand to lose a few pounds. Being one that has been dieting off and on for about twelve years now, I've learned a few things. Most of them involve the fact that I will most likely NOT ever be a size four. And that's okay. At this point in my life, where I have a sweet family who I love so much, I just want to be healthy. I want to be healthy, but I also don't want to give up one of my biggest hobbies, cooking and baking. It's a balance I'm slowly learning to accomplish. And I have been losing weight. I'm thinner then I was since I had Jayda, and I feel pretty good about that.

So I had an epiphany last night. I was making sliders for dinner, thanks to the recommendation of a good friend of mine. If you don't know what those are, they are delicious, melt-in-your-mouth, mini hamburgers. Kind of like what you would buy at White Castle, if we had one. I made quite a few of them because a little goes a long way when you're making mini burgers.

Now, any dietitian, nutritionist, or just normal person with regular eating habits would look at something like a slider and think "wow, for less calories you can eat one hamburger and be satisfied that you got your portions of meat, carbs, blah, blah, blah." They would then probably shoot their mouths off about how you can supplement the rest of your meal with a salad or something.

BUT, if you're not one of those people. If you are a compulsive over-eater, food lover, binger, or a chubby girl, trapped in a well, chubby girl's body, your thought process is a little different. You're thinking "those burgers are so tiny, that I can have ten or twelve for less calories since they are the size of my palm! Heaven's be praised for knowing what I desire most, tiny food to make the guilt less palpable!" That was the point that I jumped in, head first, and couldn't hear anymore of my own thoughts because they were being drowned out by all the happy chemicals my brain was releasing from the taste of the fourth slider.

You know those stupid 100 calorie packs, and they're supposed to allow you to eat cookies, without overdoing it on calories? All they allow me to do is eat five of them, and still be unsatisfied because all along I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING REAL COOKIES! And yet I'm still 500 calories in the hole.

We're all different people. We all dance to the beat of our own drum to some degree. But I realized last night what MY solutions needs to be. BIG portions. HUGE portions. I love to eat, but I still have my limits. I once got a super burrito at one of those wonderfully delicious hole-in-the-wall Mexican Restaurants. This thing was practically served to me in a dolly. The moment I laid eyes on it, I knew for a fact, that unless I planned on being hospitalized that day, I was not going to be able to finish it. So do you know what I did? I ate about a fifth of it, right up until I was satisfied, wrapped the rest up and took it home! I didn't gorge, I didn't binge, I felt like one of those cheerleader types who eat like birds and then complain of being fat all day. I ate LESS because I was given SO MUCH! I know that it goes against everything you hear as a chronic dieter, but I really believe that it's what your brain wants to believe, rather then your body.

There's is nothing worse to a person like me, then to sit down to a plate of "small portions." It freaks us out! Immediately my brain is convinced that I'm not going to get full, before even eating it. Give me a huge plate of food and I feel safe, I feel warm, and then I feel satisfied. And I've always got enough left over for lunch the next day. It's not so much what my stomach is saying, but what my brain is saying, and my brain is hungry!

In My Humble Opinion

Nicholas Nickleby is a fantastic movie. It originated as a novel written by a fairly well-known artist named Charles Dickens, who is one of my FAVORITES. It's a story that encompasses all of the qualities that contributes to a quality life. Love, family, sacrifice, selflessness, and happiness. The thing I love so much about Charles Dickens, is that whether he realized it, he was a huge believer in Karma. I've noticed in just about every story he's written, the characters always get what they deserve in the end. And not only that, but there is usually a moment of recognition for the actions the characters have committed, whether they are good or bad. That's what makes the stories so fulfilling. Revenge is never quite as sweet until the nemesis realizes the error in his ways. Maybe it's my background as a social worker, and dealing with adults who refuse to take any responsibility for their actions, that makes this phenomenon so satisfying. Or maybe it's even looking back on my own misdoings and hoping that I can learn from my mistakes so I don't end up like Ralph Nickleby. Either way, it is an element of life that no one can escape.

So now that you've gotten a taste of my never-ending inner dialogue, go rent Nicholas Nickleby. It's rated PG too, so you can watch it with your grandma!

Our Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day has not typically been a big deal with Glenn and I. We usually run the motions of going out to eat, or getting flowers etc. But this year we really wanted to do something special, but more importantly, I really wanted to surprise him. I NEVER get to surprise Glenn, he always figures out what I'm doing, so this was pretty fun for me. I'll get to all of that...

So the actually day of V-day I drove home desperately not wanting to cook or do much of anything at all, so this was the extent of our Valentine's on Thursday.



Nothing says romance like a heart shaped pizza. All hope was not lost for us though, because we got a fun surprise visit from Grandma and Grandpa J who had some fun balloons and gifts from the kids, and some nice cuts of meat for us! It was a great visit and we always love to see the parents.






The next night we had arranged for a babysitter, and had planned to go to Idaho Falls for a night out. I told Glenn to drop the kids off without me because I wasn't ready yet. While he was out, I set up a table setting and a nice dinner for us to enjoy at home, WITHOUT THE KIDS, and we ended up having a really quiet and relaxing evening in instead. I was a little nervous that he would be disappointed that we weren't going anywhere, but he was pleasantly surprised and we had a great time. It might not sound like that big of a deal, but there was something so great about being at home with each other without the constant sounds and needs of the kids to attend to. It added a whole new refreshing quality to being at home again. My friend gave me the idea a few months ago, so thank you and great idea!!

They grow up so fast!

There's nothing like watching your kids grow up. It's pretty cool. Even though Skyler is still a baby, I feel like we're moving so quickly out of the baby stage and into the little kid stage. Jayda is talking like a teenager and giving us all sorts of instructions, and even at nine months Skyler is becoming quite a bit more independent. It's just cool to think that you had something to do with such cute and unique individuals. In a way I feel pretty honored to watch them turn into themselves. It's fun to be a parent.



I know that it's probably completely inappropriate to have a pic of my daughter in her underwear, but she's in UNDERWEAR!! She's pottytrained!! Well, 90% pottytrained anyway. But it's so nice to have one less set of diapers to have to worry about!

To Those That I Love...

Happy Valentine's Day! I got you some flowers, hope that you like them.

I LOVE Valentine's Day, I always have. I think I love it so much because there are so many people in my life that I really love. I am a true believer that it's the relationships in our lives that make everyday so worth living. And if you want to know a secret about me, I fall in love very easily.

And I'm not talking about romantic love, and it doesn't even have to be a deep, everlasting love. But it's those CONNECTIONS that you make with a person, even just for a brief moment that are so enriching and add tiny pieces to the person that we become. Whether it's a relationship formed at work, a roommate, a sibling, a neighbor, or even the passenger next to you on the airplane. I feel like in those moments we open ourselves up to another person and share a small portion of our soul. It's such an amazing experience. And when it's over, and even if I know I'm never going to see that person again, I just want to hug them and tell them that I love them. And they can think I'm weird all they want, but it's true, and I'll never forget them.

And just so you know, if you're reading my blog, you're one of those people. So thank you for being a part of my life and making me a better person. I love you!

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin, 1903-1977

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone!

It's over! I'm back! I FEEL GOOD AGAIN!! Halleluiah!! I can't even tell you how happy I've been and how wonderful of a weekend I had. I hope I never take my health for granted again.

This experience was tough, and I feel like it really got the best of me at times. Even reading back on some of my old blogs made me feel a little guilty because I feel like I got a little too negative, but I'm just so grateful to feel better. I got to take my meds again last Wednesday, a double dose! It didn't take long to feel like normal again. I have been bouncing off the walls ever since and I haven't felt anything but energetic, grateful and happy to be alive!

Friday Glenn and I celebrated by dropping the kids off at the sitter's and going out. We went to Texas Roadhouse and I got the Ribeye steak and a half rack of ribs with loaded mashed potatoes because I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THE CALORIES! We ate until we were in pain, and left feeling fat and happy! We visited Kendall and Deanna and sweet little Haven and I got to hold him for quite a long time, which made Aunt Teresa very happy. I really hadn't been able to see him for a while.

Saturday was probably one of the funnest days I've had in a long time. After Glenn got home from work, I had a late lunch with some of my HS girlfriends. Getting together once a month or so has become a tradition with us and I love them so much. It's been so cool redefining our relationship and getting to know each other post high school. We followed lunch with a little shopping, for Valentine's Day (wink). We giggled like high schoolers and had a blast. Later that night I went to a "slumber party" (if you don't know what a slumber party is, look it up) with some female co-workers and it was SO FUN! Just an out-of-control girl's night filled with laughing and sharing and staying up WAY too late. It was something that I haven't done in so long and that I needed so much. I had the time of my life. Thanks to my girls for such a great time and to my hubby who let me party for a day!

Anyway, I'm just so happy, almost ridiculously happy, and I'm so grateful for the new perspective and outlook on life. I hope I'm much slower to complain and quicker to be grateful because despite all of the obstacles we face on a daily basis, life is awesome. I hope it's a feeling I'll not soon forget.

"I'm a map..."

I feel very proud, and oddly defeated, to announce that we have officially introduced the new and outrageous cultural icon Dora the Explorer into our home. I never thought I'd see the day. Besides Ducktales, it's one of the few shows that Jayda will really watch with a fervor. Is that a good thing? It is when I'm trying to get the dishes done or take a shower. However, I can already tell, if not for anything more than my own sanity, that Dora is going to have to be capped at some point. When I go to bed thinking to to myself "Swiper, no swiping!" I know that there is a problem. Hopefully, the problem will take care of itself in the next few days seeing as I will be back to normal soon! And when that happens, you'll see me skipping down the street singing "We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray!" Until then, I suppose I should just be grateful that Dora is actually a very sweet and educational cartoon that I feel very comfortable allowing Jayda to watch. Because if I've learned anything, it's that just because it's animated means that there's no guarantee my kids should be watching it, yikes!

Like Sunshine...

When I was in HS, I was a HUGE Beatles freak. My friend Heather and I listened to EVERYTHING they ever sang, read every magazine they were ever in, and watched every movie they ever made. We LOVED them! I still love the Beatles, but my obsession has certainly evened out since. But tonight I sat in front of the TV, underwhelmed at the choices before me, and I came across their first movie, A Hard Days Night. And it was wonderful and comforting and nostalgic and all of those other good feeling words. Their music is so fun and their humor seemed so before it's time. Anyway, I enjoyed every minute of it, and if you even remotely enjoy the Beatles, you should watch it because it's quite entertaining.

Just a quick update about the whole thyroid escapade that has been my life, I'm ALMOST done! I completed my two days of isolation at my mom's house after swallowing my radioactive pill. The two days were actually very pleasant and I really enjoyed the one-on-one I got with my parents, especially my mom, who I got to see the most. Despite the doctors saying that there would be no side-effects, I've been fairly nauseated over the last few days, but who knows, we've also had the stomach flu going around. I'll be taking my meds again Wed, hopefully!

As I've expressed, it's been a tough ride, but now that it's said and done, I have nothing left to feel but gratitude. I feel like we have been so blessed with friends and family who have been so supportive and wonderful and caring. My mom has brought dinners for over a week, so many people have called, written and visited to check in on us. We have felt so looked after and loved through out this whole thing, and there has never been a single moment where we've felt abandoned. I just want to say thank you to all of you!

Cruising

One of the funnest thing about having two kids is watching them start to interact. Jayda loves to make Skyler laugh, and as far as Skyler is concerned, no one is funnier then her! Lately, the new super-fun thing for them is pushing Skyler in a laundry basket. They love it, and I love to watch them. Ah childhood, we have so many toys that are never played with, and all along we just needed a laundry basket!

Clearly related...

favorite pasttimes, nuff said

First Haircut!

Glenn and I have had an ongoing debate forever about hair length, on Jayda and myself. I tend to like shorter hair, he, of course, likes long hair. I won the fight with Jayda's hair after her crazy mullet started to make her look homeless. Anyway, the before and afters aren't that great, and the before pic might be a bit exaggerated for dramatic effect, but I'm pretty pleased with the result. Unfortunately I did not get pics of the actual haircut, but I'd say she took it like a champ. If she would have let me, I would have just kept cutting!

BEFORE

AFTER

When mom gets bored...

Jayda gets a rockers mullet. She loves it when I do pretty things with her hair, which doesn't happen to often, simply because is doesn't take her long to undo whatever is it I do. I did this right before she went to bed, I was amused. Sorry about the fact that she is not dressed. Nudity is another theme she's been sporting lately as well.

I'm an aunt...

again! There's just something so cool and fun about watching your sibling introduced to parenthood. I'm so excited for them! They named their baby boy Haven Dee. He weighed 8 lbs, but I forget the ounces, sorry! I haven't seen a whole lot of the sweet baby since, but I look forward to seeing him again soon. He is so cute! These are pics from the hospital. Doesn't Deanna look beautiful?

Pictures!

Hey! I got a hold of some cute pics of my kids. Skyler has grown up a lot these last few weeks. I'll let the pics do the talking.







Oh, c'mon, it's funny!